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Managing your mental / emotional state in pressured situations.

The state you are in directly affects your performance, your capacity to learn and your ability to be resourceful.  The state you are in directly affects the choices you make and the results you will get.  The state you are in has a bigger bearing on the outcome of a meeting or piece of work than how much you know or good you are at your job.  If you are in a bad state - being able to change your state is one of the most important things you can learn to do. You might be highly competent, but if the state you are in hinders your ability to fully express your competence, then someone with lesser ability may get a better result.

The state you are in also influences the state other people are in and vice versa! How often have you been stressed, worried, cross or full of judgement against others and soon the people around you have picked up your vibe!  It works the other way around of course - how often have you been affected by the mood of your your spouse or colleague or manager. They walk into the room bright and full of positivity and you feel lifted! Or they walk into the room under a cloud and you get rained on. Their state changes your state and vice versa.  Someone once said “don’t be the barometer be the weather and make it a good day!”   You can change the state you are in and therefore change the way you affect your surroundings.

There are all sorts of positive states that we can be in, and different one’s serve us best at different times. There is the peaceful state, the joyful state, the focused state, the confident state, the energetic state, the laid back and facilitative state and the decision making leadership state. We have all been in these different states at different times in our life.  The fact that we’ve been there once tells us we van be there again.  We just need to know how.

It’s far easier change the state we are in and access a better state than we might realise and we do it all of the time, without even realising.  We access and change states continuously as we move through different experiences, situations and locations in life. Take the change in state that a claustrophobic person experiences as they enter a crowded room, or the state an extrovert is in as soon as they walk into a party atmosphere, or the way someone’s mood is lifted as soon as they begin to song a happy song. We have far more choice about the state we are in than we realise. But often we just thank or blame others for how we feel.     

The good news is that you can influence the negative state you are in by accessing the resources of other states you have already enjoyed from the past. You can trigger yourself into entering a different mood by knowing the triggers which initiate the sate or mood you desire or need. Coaching can help you achieve this, so that when you are about to make that all important presentation, or have that “pay rise” conversation with your boss, or pitch to the customer and close the deal, you are able to live from a positive state and be who you need to be in that situation.  Positive states you have been in from the past can resource you directly in the present because you already know what the state feels like and you can replicate it for the present.